An old friend from high school once told a guy she couldn’t go on another date with him because she was on weekend furlough from the local women’s prison. I’m not sure what’s more lame: the excuse itself, or the fact that the guy actually believed it. Either way, it got me wondering what other lame excuses people have given or gotten. Here’s what I found:
EXCUSE: “A special two-hour Matlock is on.”
Jennifer Brett of Atlanta was invited on a second date to a play, but she bailed to catch this Andy Griffith TV show. “I really did watch it, too,” says Brett, who writes the Social Butterfly blog for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “I have only a hazy recollection of the guy I had plans with and don’t remember any big showdown, so I guess he got over it pretty quick.”
EXCUSE: “Sorry. Just found out I’m pregnant, so I am meeting with my ex that night.”
When Carrie Julian of Chicago spit out this total spur-of-the-moment lie, all the guy could do was say, “Oh. Well. Um. Good luck, I guess.” Unfortunately, Julian ran into him a few months later. “He asked how I was doing with the baby and all, and I had no idea what he was talking about,” Julian recalls. “He reminded me, and I said, “Oh. Um. Yeah. That was a lie.” His response? “Well, I gotta go. Take care”.
EXCUSE: “I’m being stalked and I don’t want you involved.”
William Barber of Cedar Rapids, IA got out of a second date with an excuse that was partly true. “I really was being stalked, but it was a lame-o excuse for not going out again because the truth was, she simply wasn’t my type,” Barber admits. “Her reaction was incredulous. So I explained that it was the woman sitting in the booth behind us while on our first date the loud one who played “Cold as Ice” over and over and over again on the jukebox. The woman’s response was predictable: “Wow. Ok, I guess. Barber doesn’t know what else she said because he abruptly hung up.”
EXCUSE: “We both look so different now that we’re not wearing those crazy Halloween costumes!”
When Cindy Lee of Las Vegas needed a way out of a second date with a guy she met at a costume party, this was all she could come up with. “It was so incredibly shallow and lame, but I didn’t want to tell him that he wasn’t as attractive as I’d originally thought,” Lee recalls. “He just looked at me sort of bewildered and said, “All right. Lord knows what I would have said if we hadn’t met at that party.”
EXCUSE: “I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings.”
Ty Alexander of Seattle took a girl out on a date only to discover that she knew one of his ex-girlfriends. Alexander didn’t really care, so he asked the “new girl” for a second date. She did care, though. “I was bummed that she couldn’t negotiate her friendship to accommodate a potential relationship,? Alexander says. “The cruel reality of the matter was that her friendship was more important to her than I was, and I had to simply suck it up. Despite the hurt, Alexander says the truth is always better than a lie: “If I’m not adult enough to handle the truth, then I’ve got bigger issues.”
So what did we learn today? Maybe that the truth though painful is the best “excuse”. Ridiculous stories rarely ring true and can come back to bite you. Truly lame excuses just scream, “I don’t even care enough to give you the real reason. Or maybe the next time you’re asked for a second date and you don’t want to go, you should just say, “No thank you.”
Margot Carmichael Lester is a freelance writer in North Carolina and a frequent guest on the Joshua B & Lori Show on Star 105.7 FM, Binghamton, NY.